Somewhere in the future there lives a biographer who will tell a twisted tale of intrigue and strategy that stunned the world. It will be a tale of heroes and demons, truth and prevarication, bravery and abject cowardice. And, it will start with the day “Sleepy Joe” sloughed off his costume and emerged as “Dark Brandon” slashing his sword through the gathering clouds.
The crowds and the scribblers were looking the other way, watching the antics of the red conflagration, reading the soothsayers predicting chaos, listening to the Xers outlining the descent down the steps to Project 2025 hell.
But, I saw because I was a mouse in the big, white house and scampered unseen from room to room, never telling a soul about the goings on. Here’s the story, gathered like bits of cheese. You will have to wait for that biographer of the future to learn the details of what may be the juiciest story ever told in these halls, because I am only a mouse … but here’s what I heard and saw.
Before that day, men in dark suits and shiny shoes streamed into that room where the sun sets. “Too old” they said; “it’s time to go,” they said. Joe looked sleepy, but said, “No.” A dozen times he said, “No.” The men in their gleaming suits humphed as they strode out the door and turned off the green faucets.
After that, Joe paced and paced, telephoned and telephoned, thought and thought. As hard as I listened, I only heard bits and pieces … “what’s best?” … “what will they do if …?” “who might …?” Occasionally, I heard him laugh, especially when she came in. She always scared me a little with those spiky shoes, but she had the best laugh.
It was on one of those days when she came that I saw him stand taller than ever before, the light behind him flared as he said, “This is what we’re going to do …”
She said, “Are you sure?”
He said, “damn straight,” … or something like that.
He called some other folks into the room and started talking so fast I couldn’t follow it all, listing people to call, numbers to find … I remember him talking about news cycles, endorsements, announcements, and something called X. Lots of names were mentioned but I don’t remember many. They talked about who would help and who would have to be avoided. People scribbled notes while talking and waving their arms. I just sat and watched but it was exciting even for a mere mouse. I wanted to jump up and down but didn’t want them to see me.
Since that day, here are some of the things I’ve read on the Mouse Network:
After the GOP thing where they fumed and fussed and spent all their time thinking up new ways to say “old,” Joe set the trap.
He waited until the Sunday news hours were over … then he spoke, said he was stepping down and gave his sword to the lady with the laugh, the one he trusted most … Vice President Kamala Harris.
Within hours, Kamala Harris was endorsed by 42 of 47 Dem Senators, 187 of 212 Dem Reps, all 23 Dem Governors, over 250 mayors and 16 labor unions.
On day one of her candidacy, Kamala Harris received $231 million dollars of support, with a huge percentage of them being from first time donors.
More than enough Democratic delegates shifted their votes to Kamala Harris to make her the official presidential candidate for 2024.
On Sunday and Monday, 28,000 people signed up to be campaign volunteers — knocking on doors, making calls, and registering people to vote. The total number of volunteers nationwide who had signed up on Saturday was 230. (that’s what my buddy Michael Moore whispered to me and I believe him.)
And, something that I don’t understand very well … there’s something called a news “bump” which always comes after a big political meeting. Apparently, because of everything I told you above and the way Joe sprung the trap after the scarlet claptrap convocation, the expected news bump became a blue Kamala bump. And apparently a big one.
I heard someone say there was “weeping and wailing” and a landslide of folks in red hats looking for a back door and madly revising their resumes.
I don’t know about those things but we’ll know more about all that when that future biographer shows up.
For now, I’m just happy to be in a mouse in a house that laughs again.
Whatever you’d like to say, feel free to say it. This is still a democracy. Speech is still free. It’s a new day and we’re going to have a brilliant woman in the White House, spiky shoes, laughs and all. … your news mouse.
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A charming, original, and uplifting way to convey the heroics of the presidency under Biden. I couldn't be more proud to be an American than I am today, and absolutely thrilled with all the support Harris is getting
Let the record show; the Mouse Delegation has affirmed the nominee.
For the next 100 days; spread the word, avoid all traps, & meet in Chicago.
A charming, original, and uplifting way to convey the heroics of the presidency under Biden. I couldn't be more proud to be an American than I am today, and absolutely thrilled with all the support Harris is getting