Decisions:

Tiny, infinitesimally small decisions that change our lives

A friend just told me about a man named Homer who ignited the creation of a man named Jean-Luc Picard. 

This is the way the universe works. 

Homer D. Swander worked as a professor at UCSB (a few blocks away from where I sit writing this). Murph (as he was called) and his wife Laura took groups of students to London every summer to experience theater. One summer day he showed up back stage at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, in Stratford-on-Avon, to ask one of the actors if he would talk to the students. 

The actor said, “I’m sorry, I don’t do that. My work is what I do onstage, not talking about it.”

However, Murph just happened to have a bottle of single malt whiskey he had brought for the actor. He said, “Well, it would give the students a lot of pleasure if you came, and by the way, this is for you.”

The underpaid actor, who, at the time, couldn’t afford single malt whiskey, quickly changed his mind and the next day he talked with the students for an hour. 

Thus, a friendship was born between Murph Swander and Patrick Stewart who, years later, traveled to Santa Barbara where he did a week of classes on various University of California campuses. During that time, he met Professor David Rodes, a Shakespeare specialist at UCLA who asked him to do some readings at a public lecture he was giving. When he also offered $100, Stewart responded, “Wow, yes, I’ll do that.”

The next day, Stewart received a call from a man he had never met, but who said he was Stewart’s California agent. The man said, “I’ve got two questions for you. What the hell were you doing at UCLA last night and why would Gene Roddenberry want to see you this morning?”

Stewart didn’t know who Gene Roddenberry was, but he was soon to find out and the rest is Star Trek: the Next Generation history.

A bottle of single malt whiskey and a decision to say yes led to a starring role as Captain Picard in a television series spanning 178 episodes over seven seasons with thirty million people watching its final episode.

Not all tiny decisions have such momentous results; however, all of us seem to have at least one of those decisions we can point to and trace how it changed our lives. My much more mundane decision revolves around a sweat shirt which radically changed my life.

I was a junior in college at the University of Oklahoma when I decided to spend the weekend with my favorite aunt in Tulsa. At the time I was seriously dating a Marine who had given me a gaudy yellow and red Marine Corps sweat shirt. The first morning, I put on that sweatshirt intending to wear it all day. However, for some unknown reason, I wound up changing it for something else.

Later that day, my cousin’s best friend came by. We had dated off and on and when he asked if I wanted to go for a ride, I said yes. That was the beginning of our love affair, followed by marriage, and two years in California when he returned from Viet Nam. Our marriage didn’t survive long term but my love affair with California changed my life forever.

I’ve always thought if I had been wearing that Marine Corps sweat shirt, my husband-to-be probably wouldn’t have asked me out and my life would have gone a completely different direction.

So, here’s the challenge for you … think of the tiniest decision you’ve made that altered the course of your life. Please share your story.

PS: Murph died in Santa Barbara in 2018. He was the kind of guy who wanted no fanfare and even resisted the idea of an obituary. The short column that was published did not mention Star Trek, but it was published in the LA Times article below.

“For Patrick Stewart, Jean-Luc Picard is ‘the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me’” by Robert Lloyd, Los Angeles Times, April 20, 2023

Special thanks to Pat Conwell who shared this Patrick Stewart story with me.

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