Gratitude Week 1: Miracles

The formula for loving yourself

Click here to see the full overview of the path.

Miracles: Every dog you’ve every loved.

I’ve lived with three remarkable dogs, but I don’t consider myself a “dog person.” I was a Shorty-person; later became a “Rumple-person;” and, finally, a “Missy-person.” Other dogs have always been like other-people’s kids … cute, funny, lovable and out-of-sight-out-of-mind. But, those three opened my heart … and then broke it when they left.

Missy’s favorite place

One evening this week, an unexpected thought snuck up on me. A new friend and I were walking around campus and it was clear that she was a dog person. Not a single dog, close or at a distance, passed without her calling her love their way. I passed it off as a quirk until a few blocks later, and another dog, prompted her story of how she had been forced to leave her beloved dog to be adopted by another family when she moved to Santa Barbara.

She talked about how much she loved him and he loved her. Then the conversation cracked like a glacier calving as she wondered why she couldn't love herself as much as her dog loved her.

It dawned on me that one of the reasons humans love dogs so much is that dogs never, ever reject us. They don't judge us, they don't care how we look, how much we know, how much the world respects us, or what kind of car we drive. All they ask for is our time and attention (plus some food and water). No wonder we are crazy about them.

Missy’s first snow

Time and attention. Unconditional positive regard. Seems like a simple formula. How do we use it to care as much for ourselves as our dog would?

Self-love has always been a mystery to me and I’ve asked time and again what it means to love myself. Articles are filled with answers like: bubble baths, pedicures, and naps. I knew there was more but never quite got to the core of what self-love could mean.

Suddenly it’s not so complicated: a miracle answer has been there all along. We just need to look at ourselves with the loving eyes of a dog who constantly telegraphs:

Feed me! Play with me! Pet me!

How could you love yourself as well as your dog would?

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