ENTER: Opening lines can make or break a post

Making a good first impression means crafting a first line that pulls the reader into something they want

Openings are important.

“Your opening sentence is second only to your closing sentence.”

—

Alison Acheson

from Unschool for Writers

Flodesk Blog states: Nailing your email introduction is more important today than it’s ever been. Statista estimates that 319.6 billion emails will be sent per day in 2021. This means inboxes are a highly competitive space, with lots of brands vying for the same attention. So it’s absolutely critical to write a strong newsletter introduction. You’ve got to hook readers immediately and convince them to keep reading. 

This article offers 7 quick tips to write an amazing newsletter intro … however, they are slanted for commercial, largely branded newsletters. You will need to personalize these for your audience.

1. Adopt a “no-fluff” mindset

2. Make it a one-liner—with a strong punch

3. Ask an interesting question

4. Share an uncommon, but relevant statistic

5. Lead with a relevant image

6. Share an unpopular opinion or bold statement

7. Call out common identity

Actual First Lines from Substact Survey

I went through about 50 posts from the last 7 days to see how we’re doing in light of the 7 recommendations above. Here are some opening lines from my Substack inbox.

In Time, Extinction Comes For All Species...

Some leave descendants.

Others do not.

@Riley Black, Through the Looking Glass

I’m told that the top search term at Spotify among teens is “sad.”

@Ted Gioia, The Honest Broker

Dear Charlie,

The last four years I’ve been on auto-pilot, following the required academic steps to live out dad’s legacy. It’s still the plan. I think. But I feel a growing restlessness—an anxious, synaptic splintering that threatens to derail me. I’ve chosen a career path to feel close to dad, but will this really bring him closer?

@Kimberly Warner, Unfixed

A funny thing happened on the internet.

People started joking about how Tide Pods, those vibrant, squishy laundry detergent capsules, looked almost good enough to eat. In 2015,

@Andrew Smith, Goatfury Writes

Here's the first rule of standing in line at the airport: No brawling, please. 

@Christopher Elliott, Elliott Confidential

Alright, hear me out:

Star Trek is a workplace drama.

@Tara McMullin, What Works

Writing and thinking about #Rushtok has led me down so many rabbit holes. It makes sense, of course — the phenomenon is a manifestation of so many currents in contemporary American life today, of so many ideologies defending and reforming themselves. 

@Anne Helen Peterson, Culture Study

This past week I met an earthworm

Stubby, still, seeming a little worn out

@Reena Kapoor, Arrivals and Departures

Two Chinese artists, one a realist, the other an impressionist, are  commissioned by the emperor to produce paintings showing the thousand miles of the Kialing River. One strives to capture objective reality; the other the essential nature of things.

@Roderick MacIver, Heron Dance

“As I’m saying in many different ways, we get peddled the feral when we long for the wild.”

It would have been right before I went onstage at the Greenbelt Festival a few weeks back. A lad caught my arm – You’re the ‘Wild Christ guy’, but Jesus’s not wild. He’s gentle and non-judgemental. Everyone’s alright with him. Wild is unsettling. What do you mean?”

@Martin Shaw, The House of Beasts & Vines

One of the most iconic symbols of tennis is the bright yellow ball. But, this iconic symbol of the sport is only 50 years old — and came about thanks to television.

@Jeffrey Rubal, The Curiosity Cabinet

There were too many cobras in New Delhi in India. The British, in order to reduce the cobra population offered bounties for cobra heads. The incentive worked and the number of cobras spotted in Delhi started to decrease.

@Varun Nayak, Wisdom & Prosperity

Woooooooo-

hooooooo what a fall what a soar what a plummet what a dash into dark into light what a plunge what a glide thud crash what a drop what a rush what a swoop what a fright what a mad hushed skirl what a smash mush mash-up broke and gashed what a heart in my mouth what an end.

@Nina Schuyler, Stunning Sentences

Before we begin…

If your teeth could talk, what are the stories they would tell about you? 

@Elizabeth Marro, Spark

What does all of this mean?

What I saw going through over 50 posts was a lot of fluff … stuff about paid and unpaid and referral processes, stuff about weather, stuff about what the reader might have missed last time, stuff about voice overs and podcasts, stuff the authors were really excited about but always seemed to lead to something only available to paid subscribers, and lines spent welcoming new subscribers, sometimes even listing the number of them.

There’s nothing wrong with all of that stuff, but it’s sorta like the financial overview given at the beginning of a Rotary meeting. Unless your reader already loves you, they are likely to just click “delete.”

Email header Space vs. Body of the post

I think part of the issue is that people are putting stuff in the body of the post that really belongs in the email header space. (Read the post below about headers for more explanation of what the purpose of that space is.)

Headers: the most overlooked real estate on Substack

The Wows! and Warnings! of Headers.

Here’s a thought experiment: Imagine sitting in a darkened movie theater, when Tom Cruise roars across the desert in a deafening and heart-stopping flight scene …

Imagine that a man appears against a black screen and says, “Hi, I’m so glad you took time out of your busy day to be here with us. It means a lot to me.”

Newsletters will never have the drama and excitement available in a movie, but they should start with action, compelling interest, or something that makes readers feel like they are going to learn something or experience something valuable, something they want. 

Remember, everyone has an overflowing inbox and the quickest way to get control of it is to start deleting.