“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”
-- Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)
Focusing on help received from strangers
Anita Perez Ferguson, friend, reader, and author of an award-winning Young Adult historical fiction trilogy, suggested a great addition to the Confidence Cottage: helpers. Trusting that helpers will arrive in difficult times is a major confidence booster.
As a journal exercise, make a list of times when unexpected people have shown up to help you.
For example, when I was in my early 20s, my husband was in Vietnam and I was living in Tulsa where our families lived. One winter weekend, my brother-in-law, who was going to school about an hour and a half away, caught a ride to Tulsa to see his girlfriend. He didn’t want his folks to know he was in town so I offered to drive him back to school.
The snow started shortly after we left and by the time we arrived, it was sticking and showed signs of becoming a serious storm. I needed to work the next day so I headed back anyway and wound up sliding off the road and rolling into a ditch. I was not hurt but definitely in need of help.
There was a long line of cars headed the other way, taking their kids back to school and several stopped to make sure I was okay. One man took charge. He put his daughter in a car with strangers headed toward campus and drove me home. That was it. A stranger helping someone in trouble and also trusting other strangers to take care of his own daughter.
I have other stories about the generosity of strangers and I’m sure you do also. However, it wasn’t until Anita mentioned it, that I thought about how much confidence comes from knowing that helpers are almost always there when we need them. People are out there rescuing animals and people; donating time, money and food; building trails, cleaning beaches, planting flowers, teaching children to read, helping immigrants settle into a new land.
There is so much good going back and forth every day, however, it’s the horrible stuff we tend to hear about. Let’s spend a few minutes lining our cottage with stories of strangers who have helped us and make us feel like we are interconnected and live in a benevolent universe.
Please share a story about a time when helpers came to your rescue.
Here are links to the earlier parts of this exercise:
Part 1: Energy and Confidence - Revisit your successes.
Part 2: Build your own Confidence Cottage and find meaningful artifacts which remind you of your successes.
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The first thought that popped in my mind was when I was about 10, riding with my Dad one winter. He was a grade school basketball coach and would drive the kids home after practice when there were no buses. We had dropped off the last player and were headed home when our car died. Someone soon stopped to help--and much to our delight, it was a (lesser known) Green Bay Packer named Steve Wright. Dad and I were HUGE fans of the Packers, so this was extra sweet, but the thought that anyone stopped on a cold, dark winter night filled us with gratitude.
I love this post for so many reasons. My post yesterday was about yet another helper, nature/God/universe. And in the next few weeks I will be discussing yet another way others help us... by sharing our tears. We are never alone in our struggles. 💟