Three simple things to avoid in order to create a peaceful day of thanksgiving.
What to do about Uncle John?
Today is Thanksgiving … a day to celebrate family and life’s abundance … a holiday which generally starts out in the fantasy rooms of our minds and then, too often, tumbles into disappointment as our ideals and intentions go astray.
One of my new favorite newsletter authors, David Nemzoff who writes The Art of Unintended Consequences, prompted me to think about possible unintended consequences of this special holiday, in hopes that some of them can be avoided by a little thought about what we really want for this day. He has given us permission to share more of his thoughts about unintended consequences. So, don’t miss the Saturday post.
The three biggest causes of holiday disappointment.
OVERING. Too much. Too much cooking, eating/drinking, worrying (especially about too little), cleaning up. Too much expecting Hallmark perfection rather than appreciating the cracks and wrinkles, warts and grooves, the brilliant and doofant idiocyncrasies of ordinary people living ordinary lives. Overing stresses everyone.
UNDERING. Not being grateful for every moment of togetherness, every morsel of nourishment that spreads before us. Forgetting that this could be the last time we get to savor anything on the table, anyone sitting around, or under, the table, or even our own precious breath. No one knows when the next pandemic, hurricane, car wreck, or melt down of normal might happen. Undering steals our joy.
MIDDLING. Holding back, being stingy with our compliments, our words, our hearts. Not joining the laughter when silly Uncle John tells the same joke he told last year … and the year before. Not ignoring crazy Uncle John when he explains cancer causing windmills. Not hugging kind Uncle John who taught us how to ride a bike and who might not be here next year. Middling separates us.
If this reaches you on this day of feasting, may it help you find a path around the possible pitfalls of the day and take the gentle foot bridge of kindness and compassion to the other side.
May love warm you and yours, both inside and out.
Thank you for reading gratitude mojo. We love your “hearts” and please feel free to share this post if you think any of your friends and family would like it.
And if you would like to see other Gratitude Mojo posts, click here:
In good times and challenging ones, practicing gratitude helps us recognize the good things in our lives and build resilience for the challenges that come our way. Gratitude journaling is one of the best ways to better understand yourself and deepen your practice of gratitude.
We want to help everyone develop a deeper practice of gratitude, therefore, all posts are always free.
When I was a kid, the old people in my church would form a circle and pray over a person about to leave on a trip. They would pray for something they called 'journey's mercies'. It was an odd phrase and one that conjured up visions of lurking bandits along a dirt road somewhere. The kind of danger that befell the poor guy in the story of the good Samaritan. Today there are other dangers out there and other fears which we carry inside of us. Added to our concerns for any trip are our worries about leaving our loved ones, homes, and businesses alone. "What will happen to them in our absence?" My mom used to run around the house unplugging every appliance before we left on our family vacation, fearing that a fitful toaster or vacuum cleaner would burn down the house while we were out of town. Safety devices in our cars, like alarms, are now accepted features of urban America. In more rural places, a woke person may scoff at a pickup truck bearing a gun rack in the rear window, yet they themselves are carrying pepper spray on their key ring. No matter how many devices we carry, or appliances we unplug, we know deep inside that we cannot always protect ourselves. We are afraid of Mother Nature and Big Brother. We are afraid of tiny invisible germs and sprawling terrorist networks. Perhaps you have learned the deeper meaning of the good Samaritan story. "A good offense is better than a good defense." Taking care of each other in distress helps us control our own fears. We can commit at least as much time assisting others in need as we spend worrying and protecting ourselves. In the meantime, I wish you "journey's mercies."
I hope they still make them. I have a stash from my days of facilitating creativity workshops. They're like pen-size Mr. Sketch scented markers. They're yummy, especially for mind mapping! I often had little kids approach me as I was mind mapping in airports, waiting for my flight. Sweet memories...