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"Happiness exists on earth through the constant practice of generosity."
-- José Marti
Slow-twitch Generosity
Gratitude and generosity have always struck me as two-sides of a coin. As we recognize and feel grateful for the generosity of others and the Universe, we are sparked to be more generous, creating a virtuous cycle of gratitude and generosity that spins ever outward.
In a recent conversation, a friend and I were talking about people we know who just seem to overflow with generosity, the people who always call or take soup to someone who’s sick, or who show up with fresh flowers and a smile at just the right time, or remember to ask about your daughter who just started a new job. We were bemoaning how our own generosity seems to pale in comparison and it started me thinking about runners and joggers.
Years ago, when I realized I’d never be a “runner,” I was comforted by the idea that some people have fast-twitch muscles which provide more power and speed, while the rest of us have slower-twitch muscles which are better for endurance and long distances … we’re the joggers … or, better still, the walkers. Maybe something like that happens with our generosity muscles.
A few days ago, I took a chilly, blustery walk around campus and cut it short in order to get back to my warm apartment. Several blocks away from home, I noticed a young, barefoot man wrapped in a thin blanket walking in the opposite direction. Something about that thin blanket wrapped around him reminded me of a serape I had bought from a village one cold winter while visiting Chiapas, Mexico. It was still hanging, unused in my closet, and I wished I could give it to him.
While I walked on, I saw his bare feet with every step I took toward home and warmth. I thought about turning around, but I’d probably never find him. And, how would I get the serape to him, anyway? It took almost a block before I finally did turn around to look for him. When I turned the corner, there he was sitting at an outdoor cafe table with a young woman who appeared to be comforting him. Once again, I hesitated. Maybe he didn’t need my help. Then I saw his bare feet again. Finally, I went up to them and stood there until they looked up.
His look broke my heart, a mixture of fear, despair, and hopelessness. “You look cold,” I started, nervous about where to go from there. “I have something really warm I’d like to give you, but it will take me about twenty minutes to go get it. Will you still be here?”
He looked at his friend and then nodded yes. By the time I got back after rounding up the serape, some old sneakers, a hat and some warm socks, he was just walking away. He had given up on me as he has probably given up on a lot of people and things. He accepted my offering and a bit of cash, and, when I asked about where he would stay on that cold, wet night, he just shrugged and said, “In the park.”
His name was Justin and I don’t know his story and it’s not important anyway. He was a young man, cold and homeless, who in that moment needed something I had but didn’t need. He sparked a slow-twitch impulse of generosity that warmed me and made me grateful that I could light that one tiny candle.
I live on the edge of a great University, surrounded by the natural beauty of ocean and mountains, all of my creature comforts assured. Gratitude overflows in my life. Maybe next time, it won’t take so long to respond with generosity.
How easily does generosity come to you?
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Becky ... that reminder from your friend is great. It is a gift to the giver to receive. But, it isn't easy and takes practice.
Joyce, what a generous way to gift something you loved and appreciated but weren't using. I find it easier to give than to receive--which I think is true for many women. A friend recently reminded me to remember how good it feels to give to others--and then remember that they, too, want to experience that good feeling by giving to me. It's good to allow for both/and--though it's not easy.