"When we tug at a single thing in nature, we find it attached to the rest of the world." -- John Muir
Humans are social creatures; clinging together to counterbalance the physical weaknesses of our species. Most of us understand this at some level and are quick to appreciate those who make life a little easier … our health care workers, firefighters, police, military personnel and all the other unsung heroes who serve us daily.
Interestingly though, even when we can easily say thank you to others, we often have a difficult time accepting thanks when directed to ourselves. Kristin Neff, PhD, a researcher in the area of self-compassion, states, “Sometimes it’s more difficult to see what’s right about ourselves than what’s wrong. For some of us, even thinking about our positive traits makes us uncomfortable. Praise and compliments can make us squirm, and we often don’t know how to respond without self-consciousness."
However, if we reject appreciation coming from others, we’re denying our common connection. Neff states, “When we can enjoy what’s good about ourselves, acknowledging that all people have strengths as well as weaknesses, we allow ourselves to revel in our goodness without evoking feelings of arrogance or overconfidence.”
Poet Wendell Berry reminds us, “I believe that the community - in the fullest sense: a place and all its creatures - is the smallest unit of health and that to speak of the health of an isolated individual is a contradiction in terms."
What is a recent compliment that made you squirm? What if you accepted it as truth about some part of yourself? What if you fully embraced it?
Source: “Self-Appreciation: The Flip Side of Self-Compassion,” Kristin Neff, PhD
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