What haven't we tried ...
a deep admission and an insight
I keep thinking about the joy-filled DNC … the music … the hope … the US-ness.
Then came the calls … 100,000 here … another 50,000 there … $$s just rolling in.
And, the endorsements, party leaders crossing the line for our country, big name stars contributing time and money, such a bright constellation of the glitterati.
THIS was the show … THIS was our time … THIS was the path to a glorious future.
9 and one-half weeks of hope … before the fall.
… … … what didn’t we do? … … …
Now, I keep thinking about what
shared with us:Republican strategist Sarah Longwell, who studies focus groups, told NPR, “When I ask voters in focus groups if they think Donald Trump is an authoritarian, the #1 response by far is, ‘What is an authoritarian?’”
I keep imagining a mom standing in a kitchen trying to get kids off to school and herself ready for work. Hot, tired, sleep deprived, worrying about paying the bills, worried about her job, worried about her daughter who just dyed her hair green, worried about the brakes that make a horrible squealing sound way too often, wondering why her spouse never hugs her these days.
And, I remember the first poem that ever truly touched me:
And I wonder:
Was being on the outside of our circle of hope and joy somewhat like watching the bright, blonde cheerleaders in high school huddling together in the halls, laughing at inside jokes, wearing their perfect cheer uniforms, radiating the confidence that comes with being the stars of their universe?
Could it be that somewhere deep on that list of what we might do better, is the bullet point …
draw a bigger circle.
AND a deep truth that feels too vulnerable to admit …
I am an only child who has always felt, at least somewhat, alone … an outsider.
I have looked at every minority group with a degree of envy of their togetherness, just as I look at strongly bonded families with a yearning for that connection and belongingness.
There were times during this campaign that I felt that outsiderness, torn between the overwhelming joy of thinking women were finally being recognized and an existential sadness of not being a black woman, a true member of a powerful tribe … once again an outsider.
(Just to be clear: I voted enthusiastically for Kamala Harris and straight blue down ticket.)
We are living in a time of loneliness, broken connections, and free floating anxiety about the uncertainty of the world … the planet … our very existence.
Perhaps what we’re not doing well enough (as liberals, democrats, etc.) is helping people FEEL included … valued, connected, safe. This campaign offered incredible policies that could help everyone … however, the message was not heard … or not trusted.
Perhaps votes are primarily a declaration for the tribe that makes us feel included. If so, that could change our focus and lead to the question:
How do we help more people feel included, valued, safe?
Joyce, thanks for the reminder that we can draw a bigger circle. That helped. 💕
This is an important and loaded question, Joyce - and so astute. You are so spot-on to think about drawing a bigger circle of inclusion around anyone on the outside, or 'othered.' I have some answers to the why and how we got here for some of it, but I'm not sure that now is the time for them or how they would be received. there are many and complex areas to explore and understand.
I can't say I was ever a loyalist to the Democratic party, since I voted for the individual, not the party. But I was a progressive. I also understood at 10 years old that if a president didn't do what some very rich and powerful people above them wanted, they'd be murdered (JFK).
Without a 3rd party, and with Citizens United allowing big money to buy elections, that seemed the culmination of even a pretense that we can effect things in presidential elections, since the top two candidates are groomed and selected because they are expected to fulfill the aims of the people at the very top who really own and control things.
We watched the DNC betray us over and over again, and were disgusted long before this election. The trouble with groups is that sooner or later, they become exclusive.
Your thought to draw a bigger circle is a solution. Wholesale attack on even someone as despicable as Trump only alienated liberals from hearing why and how Trump supporters got groomed and sucked in. His brilliance is in manipulation so he used it, as did an always-unified Republican party.
After Sanders was betrayed by the DNC, the dems lost a ton of their base. Then... the pandemic. I won't go into that hornet's nest but bigger circles of inclusion were NOT drawn. Lines and chasms were drawn and millions of lives were ruined and lost.The behaviors I saw in our own little so called liberal enclave shocked even me - and I don't shock easily. The repub party never fractured like the dems did. They stayed unified and loyal to the party winning. I didn't see that same unity in the dems. The vaccine and mask mandates were the end for so many people. There are too many factors to explain here but a circle of inclusion and genuine discourse could have avoided some of this. Probably not all of it.
Because... understand... this election, Trump was going to win no matter what. It was ordained from 'on high.' People who felt betrayed, both on left and on right, turned to him without the benefit of intelligent discourse and the inclusion of being listened to, heard.
. Some out of anger and spite toward the Dems, voted for Trump. That's too bad. Some, because he sold himself to them as a populist, and political memory is as short as a tweet on X. Kamala Harris was put into an impossible situation with no real time to get her feet under her. I feel for her, even though I voted third party. In a state where you know the state will go 'blue' pr whatever your party of choice is, that is the one time to use your voice, in protest, or to choose a better selection. Some of us did that. That's what I did. And I voted my whole ballot. Others voted straight democrat all the way. Others still, didn't bother to vote at all because they think the system is so corrupt and broken they refused to partake. I can't say what is right, but I can say that there were a LOT of circles of exclusion and then pressure from many liberal friends to 'vote blue' without even wanting to have a real dialogue about it.
Your admission and insight is profound, and trustworthy. We have to learn to build trust, and it requires inclusion and a genuine curiosity to know how someone thinks. I so wish more people thought and reflected as you do! We are going to need to include and listen more than ever. We can begin to start that now. If nothing else, what that will do is help us take care of each other through everything that is coming down the pike, and soon.
It will be interesting to see what Trump is really allowed to do. That will give an indication of the kind of people running things. Elon Musk supposedly just acquired Fox. It's going to be a fight. Pick your battles. We have people - near and far. I have tried all along to hear people's viewpoints, and have had some surprising discussions with people. Right wingers are NOT stupid. Some are really thoughtful and we are all groping our way in the dark. I'd love to see the exclusion and othering stop. I'd love to see people meet each other as individuals all with something to teach each other or broaden our horizons. Those are the people I'm reaching out to on all 'sides.' We need to stay humble in these times. So many things were mishandled. The repercussions of that are worldwide. If these are the end times(or aren't), it's so important to keep practicing kindness, tolerance, genuine desire to know where people are. Sorry this is overly long.
I didn't go into the stuff we're all afraid of; all legitimate fears - but right now we need to pan for gold - truth. And know that AI will be used more and more to distort or even hide real truths. We have to trust ourselves and ask for guidance from whatever is greater than us. I know you already do all of this, Joyce. You are so appreciated and loved and respected. I wish I could give you a hug..