I journal, and I still think about someone else reading my words and judging me. Your story resonated with me. I still use a kind-of code to remind myself of an especially deep, dark thought. Luckily my vocabulary has increased over the years and the code is now more poetic than cryptic. Today, at 73, I know that it is my own darn journal, and my own darn thoughts. I now share it when and with whom I wish.
I've begun to read some of my journal entries to my beloved husband of 50 years. Our lives are busy, so the brief moments of catch-up each day are precious and appreciated by both of us. When I share with him, it helps that I have distilled a flood gate of emotion to a few paragraphs and poems.
I journal, and I still think about someone else reading my words and judging me. Your story resonated with me. I still use a kind-of code to remind myself of an especially deep, dark thought. Luckily my vocabulary has increased over the years and the code is now more poetic than cryptic. Today, at 73, I know that it is my own darn journal, and my own darn thoughts. I now share it when and with whom I wish.
I've begun to read some of my journal entries to my beloved husband of 50 years. Our lives are busy, so the brief moments of catch-up each day are precious and appreciated by both of us. When I share with him, it helps that I have distilled a flood gate of emotion to a few paragraphs and poems.
Thanks for sharing your process. I wonder if that deep fear of vulnerability, even in sharing deep thoughts in a private journal, is widespread?