Week 4: Emotions

Listening to the signals of our feelings

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“When you numb sadness,

you also numb happiness and joy.

The reality is that you cannot

selectively numb emotions.”

— Jennifer Rubin

Feelings. Everyone has them, and yet they often seem like bothersome, noisy children distracting us from reality.

Which is more reliable: rational thought or emotions? 

Until recently, I would have voted a straight ticket for rational thought. When I thought about emotions at all, it was that they were capricious and untrustworthy. However, psychotherapist Katie Kmiecik likens emotions to sign posts on the highway of life and says, “People who pay attention to these ‘signs’ lead happier lives. People who ignore their emotional signs may end up ‘lost.’”

Emotions flash through our bodies, signaling danger, safety, comfort, anger, shame, joy, love, and dozens of other feelings which motivate us to act. Because they don’t come with clear labels, interpreting the signals they bring can create confusion. Kmiecik advises us to “acknowledge, accept, and learn from them.”

Psych Central offers an interesting article on what we can learn from our emotions.

Recently I had an emotion that appeared out of the blue, unnamed and unrecognized. It was so unexpected that I stood with it for awhile and traced its contours trying to find out what it was signaling. When I finally had an insight as to its message, my rational thoughts dismissed it as a bit of fluff. Later, however, situations changed and I suddenly recognized the validity of the feeling and began to value the information it offered.

On my particular journey, I believe the practice of gratitude has made me more receptive of the messages of emotions. There are many feelings charts that can be helpful in identifying your emotions. Here’s one we have found particularly useful.

A powerful way to get more in touch with your emotions is to identify the ones that are easy for you to recognize and name the ones that are often confusing or vague, and identify which ones are unwanted or suppressed.

Which emotions do you have the most difficulty acknowledging, accepting, and learning from?

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In good times and challenging ones, practicing gratitude helps us recognize the good things in our lives and build resilience for the challenges that come our way. Gratitude journaling is one of the best ways to better understand yourself and deepen your practice of gratitude.

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