Your reference to linking generosity with forgiveness is so important. It fills the gap left when things don't add up. As you acknowledged that you must not have been providing what she needed in her particularly troubled times it's pretty easy to imagine the depth of your friendship and why the parting would have hurt so much. My wife has had two age old friends mysteriously disconnect over the years and one recently reached out to her with apologies after a many year gap - so keep the faith. Prayers for struggling friends can help in more ways than one. "Friendships Lost and Renewed" is my wife's Blog post on that if you're interested.
Thanks, Mark, for your words and for the link to your wife's post on the subject. It was helpful and I dropped her a comment. Interesting how Substack seems to be creating an environment that supports this kind of community of writers. It sort of feels like school and I'm now recognizing your "face" as we walk through the halls. ;-)
Or, possibly, “I miss you and feel I failed you. I’d like to chat on the phone [emphasis on actually talking] to clear the air. You’ve been such an important part of my life for so long, I would like to not lose you forever. And I will honor your choice to close the door on our friendship forever. “
Joyce I just had to share this from my late husband Robert Muller. I love your words like old Cooper grounds which produce beautiful flowers when added to my compost bins. Thanks for stimulating our thinking
Your reference to linking generosity with forgiveness is so important. It fills the gap left when things don't add up. As you acknowledged that you must not have been providing what she needed in her particularly troubled times it's pretty easy to imagine the depth of your friendship and why the parting would have hurt so much. My wife has had two age old friends mysteriously disconnect over the years and one recently reached out to her with apologies after a many year gap - so keep the faith. Prayers for struggling friends can help in more ways than one. "Friendships Lost and Renewed" is my wife's Blog post on that if you're interested.
https://bridgesfromthewellspring.blogspot.com/2021/05/friendships-lost-and-renewed.html
Thanks, Mark, for your words and for the link to your wife's post on the subject. It was helpful and I dropped her a comment. Interesting how Substack seems to be creating an environment that supports this kind of community of writers. It sort of feels like school and I'm now recognizing your "face" as we walk through the halls. ;-)
Thanks, I like your comparing the community to school - a refreshing twenty-first century find..
Or, possibly, “I miss you and feel I failed you. I’d like to chat on the phone [emphasis on actually talking] to clear the air. You’ve been such an important part of my life for so long, I would like to not lose you forever. And I will honor your choice to close the door on our friendship forever. “
We’re old. We can risk rejection. 😉
Thanks for the suggestions.
Wonderful post, and just what I needed this week. Some very helpful suggestions here for helping to heal. Thanks Joyce! 💜
Joyce I just had to share this from my late husband Robert Muller. I love your words like old Cooper grounds which produce beautiful flowers when added to my compost bins. Thanks for stimulating our thinking
Decide to forgive by Robert Muller
For resentment is negative
Resentment is poisonous
Resentment diminishes
and devours the self.
Be the first to forgive
To smile and take the first step
And you will see happiness bloom
On the face of your human
brother or sister
Be always the first
Do not wait for others to forgive
For by forgiving
You become the master of fate
The fashioner of life
A doer of miracles
To forgive is the highest
most beautiful form of love
In return you will receive
untold peace and happiness
And in my garden pretty flowers💐
Barbara Gaughen Muller
Barbara ... thanks for sharing Robert's beautiful words with us. Forgiveness is an act of generosity.